What to Expect at Your First Family Law Consultation

Meeting with a family lawyer for the first time can feel a little intimidating. For many people, booking a consultation happens at an already stressful time. You may have recently separated, be thinking about separating, have received a letter or court document, or simply have questions about what your rights are.

You also might have absolutely no idea what you're supposed to bring, what I'm going to ask you, or whether you're even ready to hire a lawyer.

That's okay. You don't need to have everything figured out before you come in. In fact, that's kind of the point of the consultation.

Before We Meet

Before a consultation is scheduled, my office will complete a conflict check. Once that's cleared, my assistant will usually arrange a time for us to meet.

About a week before your appointment, you'll receive an email confirming the details along with a link to my intake form.

The intake form asks for some basic demographic information and some information that is helpful for me to have before we meet — things like your occupation, income, relationship history and other details that may be relevant to your situation. Not every question will apply to every person. If something doesn't apply or you don't know the answer, you can leave it blank. There is no test at the end.

I also encourage clients to make a list of any specific questions they want answered. You don't need to know the legal terminology. Write them down exactly as they occur to you. One of my jobs is to figure out the legal issue behind the question.

Do I Need to Bring a Bunch of Documents?

Usually, no.

If there is already a court order or written agreement in place, I definitely want to see it. The same goes for recent court documents or important correspondence from another lawyer.

Otherwise, there generally isn't a long list of documents you need to gather before an initial consultation.

Please don't put off getting legal advice because you haven't located every tax return, bank statement or piece of paper accumulated during your relationship. If I need more information or documents after we meet, I'll tell you what I need and why.

Can I Bring Someone With Me?

Absolutely.

Some clients prefer to come alone. Others feel more comfortable bringing a friend, parent, sibling or other support person. Either is completely fine with me.

At the beginning of our meeting, we'll talk briefly about solicitor-client privilege and confidentiality, including what it means if someone else is sitting in on our meeting. From there, we'll get into why you're actually there.

What Happens During the Consultation?

Most initial consultations last about an hour.

I'll usually start by asking you to tell me what's going on. You don't need to present your story like you're making submissions to the Supreme Court of Canada. Just tell me what has happened and what you're concerned about.

I'll ask questions along the way. Some will be fairly specific because small factual details can sometimes make a significant difference to the legal advice.

Once I have a reasonable picture of your circumstances, we'll talk about the areas of family law that apply to you. Depending on your situation, that might include parenting arrangements, child support, spousal support, family property, the family home, divorce or another issue entirely.

More importantly, we'll talk about how the law might actually apply to you.

I'll explain your legal rights and obligations, but we'll also talk about the practical side of things: your options, possible processes, what different approaches may cost, what risks you should be aware of and what I think makes sense as a next step.

Sometimes that next step is hiring a lawyer and taking action. Sometimes it's gathering more information. Sometimes it's negotiation or mediation. Sometimes it's doing nothing immediately while you consider your options.

And yes, sometimes court is necessary.

The goal isn't to decide every issue in your life in sixty minutes. It's to leave you with a much clearer understanding of where you stand and what you can do next.

When Should I Get Legal Advice?

Earlier rather than later.

One of the best times to have an initial family law consultation is early in a separation and sometimes even before a separation has actually occurred.

That doesn't mean you need to start a court proceeding. It doesn't mean you need to send an aggressive lawyer's letter. And it certainly doesn't mean you're committing yourself to a particular course of action.

It means you can make decisions with some knowledge of the legal consequences.

Early advice can help you understand what matters legally, what doesn't, what information you should be keeping, what you should be cautious about agreeing to, and what your rights and obligations may be as things unfold.

There are decisions people make in the early days of a separation, about parenting arrangements, finances, the family home and other issues, that can become important later. It is much easier to make an informed decision in the first place than to discover months later that something you thought was temporary has become much more complicated.

That said, there is no "too late" point for a consultation. People come to see me at every stage: before separation, shortly afterward, after years of an informal arrangement, when they want to change an existing agreement or order, or when something new has happened.

Wherever you are in the process, we start there.

Do I Have to Hire You Afterward?

No.

There is absolutely no obligation to retain me after an initial consultation.

For some people, the consultation is simply an opportunity to get some legal advice, understand their options and go away with better information. That can be valuable on its own.

If you do want me to assist you further, we'll talk about what that could look like, the anticipated next steps and costs.

And if you're not sure? That's okay too!

You Don't Need to Have the Right Questions

People sometimes hesitate to book a consultation because they don't know whether their situation is "serious enough," they aren't sure what they should be asking, or they're worried they'll sound like they don't know what they're doing.

You aren't supposed to know family law. That's why you're coming to see a family lawyer.

Bring your questions. Bring a support person if you'd like. Bring the important documents you have. Most importantly, bring the story of what's actually going on.

We'll figure out the legal part together.

Getting legal advice doesn't commit you to litigation, separation or any particular decision. Sometimes it simply gives you the information you need to decide what comes next.

And particularly when a relationship is ending or changing, having that information early can make a very big difference.

If you have questions about a separation or another family law issue and would like to arrange an initial consultation, you can contact me at 306-773-6523 or lgates@stringam.ca